Rockin around the Christmas Tree

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As the Day Turns, As the Tail wags, The Tales of Tails

This post is a reprint of the ongoing sheltie soap opera written by Janet and originally posted at www.sheltieforums.com

As the day turns, As the tail wags, The tales of tails, Episode #1- 10/22/2009

[cheesy soap-opera music in background]

Join us again for another tale of tails......
Today we join Janet as she enters her home wearily after a long day of working with patients. She sees a note from her dear husband:

Dear Janet...please be careful with the quart container by the sink. Jack was playing with a snake in the house and nearly killed it so I put it in the container so that you can look at it. Love, Alan

Janet sees a suspicious-looking clear plastic quart container on the kitchen counter by the sink. [spooky music] No, it is definitely not Chinese take-out. Looks more like fangy snake leave-ins.

Meanwhile, in the bedroom Sasha is rolling in ecstasy on the bed as Alan has added the Korean mink blanket to the bed. Ahhh....More pile to fill with sheltie fur. From the corner Newton watches....the bed is now different and now must be avoided. Don't look at it. Its new. Don't look.

Outside, Angus and Figaro perform dueling tail-chasing and sychronized tail-biting while Emma barks at cars and Indy sleeps on the deck. Janet gives Angus and Figgy points for matching costumes, height, weight, and energy of form.

Emma proceeds to bark herself hoarse yet another day...

[music fades out as the sun sets with a tumbleweed of sheltie fur rolling by]
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As the day turns, as the tail wags, the tales of tails, episode 10/22/2009 part II

[elevator music cheeses on]
Jack explains that any snake, mouse, cricket, or other squirmy, wiggly, or fuzzy vermin that crawl into the basement are his to torture, tease, swat, and eat at will. Jack then retires to the top of the entertainment unit to sit on the warmth of the DVR.

The snake has no comment, and sticks his forky tongue out at the forum. With a haughty hiss it explains that it issssss a garter sssssssssssnake.....

Angus is stretched out on the couch, rolling his eyes at anyone who looks at him. Sasha sits on the other end of the couch, licking the leather seat.

Alan is sitting on the loveseat with Figaro on his feet on the hassock, Emma beside him, and Newton on his lap. He is whistling "always look on the bright side of life" to Newton, whose ears are so high and close together that he looks like a fuzzy black jackrabbit.

Indy trots around and around the couches, hoping to avoid the dreaded grooming session with Janet; who is closing in....

[picture fades as Monty Python continues to sing Always look on the bright side of life]

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As the day turns, as the tail wags, the tales of tails, episode 10/24/2009

[chilling, dramatic piano music]
Ah no, Indy does not have the running speed in him at this age and the evil groomer closed in and caught him in her evil embrace. After 30 minutes of brushing (how do so MANY sticks hide in the leg feathers) he had to further endure the embarrassing trim-out of the butt region and trimming of the fur between the foot pads. The evil groomer finally released him; only to promise that she'd get him again next week. The horror...the tedium...the tugging.

Sasha presents herself for grooming; unfortunately she has almost no hair at this point postpartum and could almost be brushed with a washcloth.

[loud organ chords of doom] Angus and Figaro walk up nearly intertwined as they get brushed while weaving in and out over each other and through Janet's arms and around her back and rolling over during the process until the evil groomer is so dizzy from the display that she admits defeat and takes a break.

[sappy electric organ music] Newton crawls into her lap for his nightly lotion massage and brushing; and doesn't complain as she works around the boo-boos on his back legs. Newton looks trustingly up into Janet's face and projects "you're not the evil one, I've seen evil and its not you."
[fade out organ music]

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Tales and Tails and four-part Harmonies, episode 10/24/2009 part II

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[Barbershop harmony singing "Somewhere"]...

We join the evening session of tales of tails as the Granite sheltie clan settles in after a wild welcome home to Janet and Alan on their return from the concert. Russell had a concert at the Diana Wortham Theatre in Asheville, performing with the Land of the Sky Barbershop Chorus. Janet settles in to the computer to upload the songs while Newton sits at her feet and Angus and Figaro put their noses on her thigh for ear rubs and petting.

Jack perches in a semi-doze on the warmth of the DVR on top of the entertainment unit; dreaming of snakes. The snake is happily back in the tall grass on the OTHER side of the fence; having been freed from his solitary confinement after Alan was sure everyone had seen and appreciated Jack's security measures.

[Barbershop group changes to "swing on a star"]...

The shelties ponder the meaning of the song "would you rather be a fish...would you rather be a mule... or would you rather swing on a star"...Figaro personally thinks that he could jump high enough to swing on a star, if he only had opposable thumbs so he could hang on. Angus says "hang onto this daddy-o" and puts Figaro in a head lock by grabbing his ruff and slinging him to the floor. Janet gives the command "be nice" and Angus turns Figaro loose but then grabs the cord to the digital recorder and starts to chew. Janet moves the cord and gives Angus his Bambi toy.

The scene shifts from the great room to a view through the patio door, and outward to the fence where the Snake looks on and says "I've been there, and the welcoming committee is a little rough."
[The Barbershop chorus changes to singing "Irish Lullaby"]......

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As the day turns, as the tail wags, the tales of tails, episode 10/25/2009

[The sun rises with the tune "Rose Colored Glasses:].......

Angus yodels in fair harmony to the song; wanting out of the Xpen and wanting breakfast and wanting to play and wrestle and basically just wanting. Emma opens one eye and rolls it and goes back to snoring while lying across Janet's legs. Sasha scrunches into a smaller ball at the base of Alan's shoulderblades and tries to look very much like a pillow. Janet sighs and gets up and lets Angus and Figaro out as they push and shove at her knees trying to hurry her up. She then pats Indy's shoulder, then his head, then lifts his head up and down a few times, and then spins him in a circle on the floor like a furry door mat. Nothing. No one in this house sleeps as soundly as Indy. Janet sighs, and resigns herself to another morning of the revolving door of dogs in and out. Newton peeks up through the grate of his crate but doesn't say a word. Alan snores and Sasha scooches lower in the bed. Emma picks her head up and wags her tail in anticipation of breakfast. "Me first" says Janet and goes to the bathroom; for once unaccompanied by a furry guardian. Afterwards she runs the obstacle course of Emma, Sasha, Indy, and Newton out and Angus in......and manages it without too many round trip shelties in and out and in and out and changing their minds. Out on the deck in the fresh air Indy wakes up suddenly and begins to yodel.

[The barbershop chorus changes tunes to match Indy's key signature, singing "You Make me Feel So Young"]...

Inside, Janet measures out the kibble, adds water and gravy to Indy's, gets out the hot dogs for a slice for Indy's meds, stops Angus and Jack from playing find the fish in the water bowl and mops up the mess. She then puts Angus back in his Xpen with his breakfast, Sasha and Newton into the bedroom for their breakfast, Emma and Figaro out on the deck for their breakfast, and guides Indy to the kitchen for his breakfast and meds. She sighs and gets out the dust mop while all the furkids are amused with food, and chases around a host of sheltie and cat fur tumbleweeds that magically grew during the night. The camera pans from dog to dog, zooming in on Emma's coat blowing out huge tufts from the shoulders before following a wisp of fur as it floats up and away into the morning air....

[Barbershop chorus changes to a rousing rendition of "You're Nobody till Somebody Loves You with the shelties adding a barking chorus to underscore the sentiment].....

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Night of the paw.... episode 10/31/2009

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[creepy organ music....camera wanders through the house and pauses in a doorway to focus on Sasha, walking with her right paw in the air]
Ah, the trials of the beautiful and delicate; Sasha bravely walks through the great room with her right paw gracefully held out at a "drink your tea" pose. Janet rushes to her side to examine the leg but Sasha demurs "ah no, no really I'm fine, really I am...really its nothing OOOOH that tickles don't rub my armpit mom...ah yes well don't touch that toenail I SAID DON"T TOUCH MY PINKY TOENAIL" and jerks the leg away from Janet and proceeds to lick and wash it thoroughly. After multiple trials, Janet cannot find any cut, foreign object, or cracked toenail. Janet gives Sasha a little treat for enduring the exam and says "good girl!" Sasha continues to hold the paw dramatically in the air. Janet goes to the kitchen to start dinner and ALL the dogs come running in....All on all 4 paws. Janet gives Sasha a hard look, and whammo, up goes the right paw again. Yeah, Right
[dramatic succession of chords da-da-DUH]
Janet gets out treats for the dogs. Suddenly, Indy is holding up his left paw, Emma her right paw, Sasha her right paw, Angus is clueless, Figaro is chewing the nails on his left paw, and Newton is sitting on his hindquarters and waving both front paws in the air like a conductor. Janet rolls her eyes and hands out the treats.
[quiet organ postlude as the scene fades to black...]

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All Saints Day …episode 11/1/2009

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[Organ prelude "For all the Saints"]
Granite's sheltie clan would like to remind their audience that today is All Saint's Day; the day to remember those of faith who passed away during the past year. For the memory of Uncle Duard, Aunt Frances, and Aunt Betty who we lost this year from our immediate family and in honor and memory of those we lost on the forum; here is our choir's anthem from today featuring Russell as the soloist (and yeah, yeah, we know, Janet is a loud soprano and sticks out in her section)

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As the day turns, as the tail wags, the tales of tails, episode 11/7/2009

[celtic flute, pipes, and drum music]
Janet continues her work on crafting her inventory for the upcoming craft show on Friday and Saturday. Newton sits at her side, tucked in among the boxes of supplies. Newton sighs contentedly and lays his nose across Janet's leg. The boxes create an effect of a den; and he feels that he is curled in his little den with mom.

Janet looks up and notices the soap opera is using her work as a cameo.

"Ok, ok, really, I'm sorry that I've been spending all of my creative energies on husking, scherenschnitte, and quilling; but I have a craft show coming up!"

Newton noses over a bundle of fushia and pink papers and paws Janet's leg.

Newton is helping to choose the colors for the butterflies!
[continued celtic music...]

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Late entry Thanksgiving special …11/29/2009

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[camera pans in at Janet's brother's house as the extended family sing "We Gather Together" as the blessing before the family meal]
Out in sunroom Tristan and Dillan [Philip's corgi's] bark every now and then that they'd like to join the family for the meal. Phil knows his 7 dogs well, so the two boys are out in their crates while elderly girls Virginia and Sadie are free to roam and the other three [Windsor, Madison, and Sophie] are in the front bedroom. Newton is in his crate in the living room with the door across the opening but not latched; very quietly staring at Janet's back to make sure that she doesn't go out of sight. Gathered around the table: Mom, Dad, Jeni, Tom, Reid, Mike, Theresa, Janet and Alan with Abigail and Megan at the counter bar and Melissa, Philip, Chip, and Russell at a separate table in the adjoining parlor. Alan saves little scraps of turkey from his plate for Newton. Reid (3 years old) notices this and grandly offers his whole plate for the doggies thanksgiving. His mom Melissa redirects his eating. When she isn't looking, Reid slips some of his salad to Virgina who is patiently waiting under the table. Shhhh...we didn't notice that.

After the humans eat, Chip and Phil make up plates for the dogs and Alan serves Newton his meal. Newton is very happy to eat turkey, sweet potatoes, and dressing. After all, mom decided that he shouldn't have breakfast before the 4 hour road trip to Philip's house. Newton, refreshed by his Thanksgiving repast; makes a grand entrance from his crate into the living room and poses beside Janet on the floor. He sits and crosses his paws delicately on Janet's thigh. Abigail (6 years old) is entranced by the obviously posing little dog; and asks what Newton is doing. Megan (6 years old) also comes to join the circle on the floor and says "he wants us to look at him." They coo and pet Newton gently; he receives this as his due. Janet then tells the girls that Newton is posing because he is a story-telling dog, and he's getting ready to tell a story. Abigail calls her little brother Reid over and three beaming faces watch Newton carefully to see what he's going to do. Janet pulls Newton's toys from the crate (a squirrel and an orangutan) and tells the story "Where the Wild Things Are" complete with sound effects and dancing doggie toys. Newton keeps his paws crossed on Janet's leg but follows the toys with his eyes. After the story, Abigail tilts her head and says "Aunt Janet, I think that YOU were the story-teller, not Newton." To which Janet replies "oh no, Newton was telling the story in puppy language, and I was just interpreting it for the humans in the audience." Abigail says "OHHHhhhhhh, yeah!", pets Newton, and wanders off.

.

Newton watches the humans carefully and thinks....this is a good place; and Chip knows his way around a turkey.

[camera pulls back as the children and dogs run into the backyard to look for signs of deer]

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As the day turns, as the tail wags, the tales of tails, episode 12/24/2009

['Rockin around the Christmas Tree' plays in the background]

Newton surveys his domain; safely curled in the warm pocket between Janet's crafting boxes, Janet, and the back of the couch. He particularly enjoys looking at the new indoor tree with lighting and dangling chew toys. Newton sighs contentedly and idly ponders which stuffed Santa ornament, I mean chew toy, to work on next.

Across the room Garnet hiccups in her sleep and the puppy pile squirms, adjusts, and settles.

Emma looks across from her perch on the arm of the couch and decides that no washing or nursing is required at this time.

Out on the deck Angus takes a flying leap at Figaro, as they slide in the remaining snow on the deck. They pause and look at each other, tongues hanging out in happy dog laughter. Across the deck in the dry area under the awning, Indy blinks, squints at the bright sunshine flashing off the snow in the yard, and then tucks his nose under his tail.

Back in the house Sasha rolls and rolls on the bed, trying to find a way to scratch when the cone is in the way. She gives up and remains splayed belly down on the bed with her nose stretched far forward and her back legs stretched back. Now, she thinks, if I can just stretch hard enough I'll be skinny enough to back out of this cone. She gives a furious squirm backwards on the bed with her nose down into the covers but....SIGH...the cone moves with her. Sasha rolls over and scratches the side of the cone with her left rear.

Janet turns from her craft work and goes to get the eye drops......Sasha jumps from the bed and begins running around and around the couches...desperately trying to stay away from...the MEDICATOR......


[Christmas music continues to brightly tinkle on as Janet swoops down upon Sasha on the other side of the couch]

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As the day turns, as the tail wags, the tales of tails, episode 12/26/2009

[soft jazz playing]
Sasha sits contentedly on the love seat, luxuriously scratching at her neck. The cone of shame is gone. Her eyes are clear.

The MEDICATOR sits contentedly in her computer chair. Sasha's eyes are clear. The cone came off Christmas eve.

Meanwhile, in the puppy pen the jungle is rumbling and rocking....Alan placed a piece of cardboard over the grate that he had added at the doorway, as Pearl climbed to the top this morning and was doing a gymnastic teeter-totter on her belly at the top.

Russell settles back in the couch munching a sandwich. Singing at Biltmore house is taxing work; but rewarding. Janet wiggles her toes; happy to be back in her slippers in the warm house instead of standing in dress clothes on the cold marble of the house.

[fade out as the jazz music continues]